I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:14)
This morning I am alone. The boys are at public high school. I think that I have been needing this time of rest because I have felt I've been running a marathon. The marathon has been about "endurance". Let me explain.
I first began homeschooling when I was in a lot of pain. I remember the days of the boys being in two different schools. One was finishing public elementary and the other was at the new private school that included homeschooling. I remember driving to pick up children and being so tired I was sleepy. Worn down from all the responsibilities and the pain, I was a mess, but somehow God gave me the strength to endure.
Then in 2007 there was my surgery that went wrong. My bowel developed a small hole after the surgery. It ruptured and they found I had sepsis. I nearly died. If it had not been for my bowel rupturing, I would have died because my doctor did not realize there was anything very wrong. After emergency surgery, I awoke with a colostomy. The Lord brought me through those dark days. Through the year 2008 I struggled to get adjusted to a colostomy as well as homeschool both my sons. Amazing things the Lord does! In October of 2008 I again submitted to surgery this time to reverse my colostomy. After that surgery I had an ileus. It was a tough recovery, but even so I was still homeschooling and even teaching my older son world history.
Here we are in 2009. I am able to ride a bike and swim now. The boys are at public school and I am blessed with quiet time. Not that there is nothing to do, believe me there is plenty. But somehow, I have been waiting for this time. Time to be with Him...alone. I sigh a deep sigh and drink in the refreshment. Unfortunately, I still have pain, but because of my Lord, I am able to keep running the race. Enduring, growing in faith, seeing His hand through every part of my life. Knowing I am not alone, that nothing in my life is random since I gave it to Him. I am enduring and with every trial the pull of the world grows fainter as I long for more of His glory and grace.